I can't watch pbs sober anymore
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
