I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize