I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
