Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
