I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if only i could text you this smell
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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