I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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