"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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