dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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