he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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