I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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