Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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