Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize