I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
