go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
