i don't like sucking hair
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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