Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
