I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
