If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
