The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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