i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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