I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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