He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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