His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
