Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
