I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
