I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
