Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize