Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
