dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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