Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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