I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
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I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
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do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize