I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What a dumb baby whore.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
