i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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