did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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