Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
