Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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