Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
two words: eviction party
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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