all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
