After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
