Non-Jews are for practice
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
