I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Do you remember whose house we're in?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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