I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
