Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
