dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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