I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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