But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
