What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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