I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize