bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
