Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
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Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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