oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
