sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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