Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it's like iHOP with fire
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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