she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
