just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
