your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
