Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
