I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
