So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
