Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
is that a dick in a sweater?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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