Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
