I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
