Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
