I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
cat food counts as protein by the way
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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