I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
