did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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