I hate all girls vehemently.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
