ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
