Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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